In the Eye of the Beholder

We all know that phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and yet, people suffer every day at the expense of others' opinions. The reality is, we do live in a physical world. Appearances and first impressions matter. On the other hand, there is a fine line between wanting to live healthfully and put your best foot forward versus living for the sole purpose of having as many people find you attractive, successful, or interesting as possible. The former will allow you to exude vibrancy and attract the people who cherish your soul. The latter might get you phone numbers and meaningless pick-up lines at the bar, but the other 98% of the time you are left with the self-critical voice telling you to do more and be better.

Ready for this truth bomb? No matter how beautiful the ocean is, there are always going to be those who prefer the mountains. Both are stunning, both are worthy of space in this world. The same goes for human beings, but the heartbreaking reality is that beautiful people are sleep walking through life trying to be something they're not because they fail to embrace themselves.

If you are not living your life in a way that best serves you mentally, emotionally, and physically - or worse, if you are living your life for others' approval - there is no end point. That critical voice won't stop if/when you lose weight, get a compliment, or have people lined up to date you. It will never be enough to quiet the incessant nagging, and perhaps only make it stronger. The validation game gets old fast.

Now, lets talk "inner beauty" (I know, I know). I am a firm believer that humor, kindness, loyalty, confidence, and intelligence are all BEAUTIFUL qualities, but I also refuse to cover up the fact that physical appearance is in fact important in human society. However, I am also a believer that what happens inside translates on the outside. Health and confidence are visible. Big smiles and all-consuming laughter are visible. Taking care of one's self is not only visible, but absolutely breathtaking. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but it is also important that it is not attached to a weight, size, makeup brand, or outfit. Beauty is loving your insides enough that the *right* people can see it on the outside.